Everyone approaches dating, and actual in-person dates, differently.

I don’t believe there are hard rules for “right” or “wrong” first dates. This depends entirely on each party’s preference.

Personally, I don’t believe in coffee dates. Coffee is part of my morning routine. Coffee is a beverage, a noun. Coffee is not a verb, not an activity worthy of looking socially acceptable for, nor worth making time for just to remain seated while getting to know another human being (bean? are bad dad jokes still trending?) and consuming a stimulant.

I’ve entertained a handful of coffee dates during my 20’s, and none led to anything promising, nor were particularly enjoyable. They felt like a waste of time.

Before you jump to conclusions and rant about how meals are an expensive commitment to a stranger, realize that there are other inexpensive activities. A hike or museum visit is preferable (and even cheaper than coffee), since even if my date is a dud, I’ve still enjoyed an experience.

Aaaand then I blocked him.

“Ahh yes, the hungry bumbler.”

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate his self-contradictions. He went from calling me “the hungry bumbler” to “looking a bit anorexic.”

So feed me, dingbat.

Insulting a woman’s appearance is the worst approach to address someone who has a different dating style. If you’re that repulsed, move on in silence.

Also: don’t come at my appearance when you’re only 5’9″. I don’t normally take low hanging fruit, but your personality seems ripe with Napoleon complex, so I’ll juice dat m’fuka (not Ebonics, just efficiency. I’m not racist, like some people…).

Grow up. Literally, figuratively, mentally, respectfully.